April 20, 2012

"...I Was in a Band Once Called..."



Long-overdue big dumb band names post, but that's what y'all get on a Friday night when I'm a bit too fried.

I have this thing that I do when someone says a word or phrase that would be a great band name: "Hey, I was in a band once called [great word or phrase]. Our big hit single was called [ridiculous pun for song name]." Mostly this happens on Twitter, but it's erupted into everyday conversation so frequently that either a) my friends and family should have named my bands a long time ago, or b) I'm beating an undead horse and everyone's already sick of it.

The original classic was "Command-Z." As in: "I was in a band once called Command-Z. Our big hit was 'Undo Me, Baby.'" (originally said at unknown date, but repeated recently to Jennie Jacobs)

...which eventually opened the Twitter-floodgates:

"I was in a band once called Teddy Roosevelt Nerds. Our big hit was 'Rough Rider Stew.'" (to Matt Welch)

"I was in a band once called Nymphographics. Our big hit was 'Gooey Interface.'" (to Jeremy Keith)

"I was in a band once called Reduced Fat Cheese. Our big hit was 'Betta than Chedda, Sweeta than Velveeta.'" (to Amy Grossman)

"I was in a band once called Amtrak Cheetos. We broke up when we realized we'd never be as good as Pipes." (to Emma Nesper Holm)

"I was in a band once called Duty Free Death. Our big hit was 'Get Bent, Taxman!'" (to Mia Bortolussi)

...and then even more names invaded perfectly innocent conversations, but too fast to think up hit songs:

Fridge Trash (inspired by Sean Blackshear)
Snakeflag Syndrome
Recreational Scolding
Free Trade Secrets
Hidden Sausage (inspired by Bryn DuBois)
Duct Tape Island
Naked Salad
Extra Buttons
Bodydude (inspired by Emily DuBois)

Those are all copyrighted, by the way—even the ones that I can't remember who inspired them. If you want to use them, you'll have to write regular big fat royalty checks to me, my immediate family, my wife, her colleagues (and their spouses), and all the people mentioned by name above. It's only fair, right? Righto, bubba.

Anyway, some other random crap for today:
Honey White played our first-ever gig ten years ago today.
• I got a new bass guitar, a Fender Modern Player Jazz Bass. Her name is Olivia and she sounds great:


That is all. Happy Friday, boys and girls.

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